I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
