Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
