Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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