yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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