Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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