Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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