Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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