the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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