And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
