Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We left the knife in your bed.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
