So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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