i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
