I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
