are you so shy because you have an std?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
