When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
