i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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