Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Randomize
