grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
