addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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