i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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