2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
