I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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