i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
