My hand turned me down
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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