Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
