how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
