Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
