Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
