If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
