Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize