why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I have aggressive nipples.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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