i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
