when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the day after is always just damage control
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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