Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
