tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
