got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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