im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize