So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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