discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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