I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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