Where is the hickey?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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