I need help removing her.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
