Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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