I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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