Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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