I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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