are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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