We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
