Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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