Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
