You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
