I should be sponsored by Trojan
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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