She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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