He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Less talking, more tequila
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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