it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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