My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
