he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
