I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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